What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
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I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
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I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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