Your tits are I can't wait for
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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