can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize