i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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