Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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