god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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