I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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