I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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