hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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