We won't sleep together?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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