I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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