Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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