It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I've blown a few things in my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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