i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize