So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize