Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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