She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize