when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
3 2 1 whiskey
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize