I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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