i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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