Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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