Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize