Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize