I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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