So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
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It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
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Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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