College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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