I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
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Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
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You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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