guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize