fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
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His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
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Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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