Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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