DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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