I wish i was in the wii world.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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