I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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