Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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