Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize