I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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