She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize