just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
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she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
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We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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