if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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