I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I believe in your delicious
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize