We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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