I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
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There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
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we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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