she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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