I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He shit in the fireplace
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