this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
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I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
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sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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