How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
zippers are such a cool invention
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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