Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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