So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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