I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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