What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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