I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
did you just send me my own nude
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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